Mixing The Business “You” With the Others
This blog is about being authentic. But it is also about business. And thus, I split it up again.
The decision has been hard. Very hard.
I’m glad to put my personal stuff back over here because I don’t have to think so hard over there. I love just popping on and saying “read this”, “watch that”, or “let me bleed emotionally in front of you in the hopes that you will learn faster than me!”. It’s how I started blogging.
But then I built an online business and how much ME to share got confusing. How to divvy it up got confusing. Frankly, my highest traffic has been split between business and personal posts. But, after consulting with the Queen of Red Shoes and Her Knight-in-Wordpress armor, I decided to reside in two distinct locales.
And then I had lots of conversations with Josie, who is training to be a therapist, and who was (rightfully) worried about just how transparent to be online. So then I started worrying about that too because I’m studying to get into grad school for the same damned thing.
If you Google me, I am in an odd assortment of places. I don’t mind this but some of these places would be off-putting at best to a therapy client (!).
Before I combined blogs, I consulted (via quick emails, comments) with Danielle LaPorte and Colleen Wainwright, two ladies that I felt had mixed the personal with the professional well. They both understood my concern:
I’m a bleeding heart liberal. My dad calls me a communist. I remind him I’m a socialist. Some of my clients are, or might be, incredibly conservative. And I have to earn a living.
And they said it was a personal decision.
I would NEVER hide my politics, gender, partner, etc. for money.
The question came down to interest.
Are the people who want to hire me interested in my love life?
Probably not. They might be interested in my writing ability (that is a big might) but are far more interested in how I can save them the pain of the behind-the-scenes tech stuff.
And even as I write this, I feel a bit sick. Because many of my most loyal readers and friends come here, not there, for my thoughts on these human foible issues. That blog is more “me” than this one because it encompasses the many things I care about: design, spirit, sex, love and Mad Men.
So bear with me friends. I would imagine in the next 2-3 years, this whole thing will be completely different. But hell. Will we even be blogging then?
POSTSCRIPT: Today, the day after I published, I found these two posts via Twitter:
vlog post via @fabeku: You can be all of it
post via @jmoriarty: Bland Romance – Losing a client but regaining some perspective
Clearly this topic is one that many, many of us (judging by comments elsewhere) struggle with and, well, some just don’t. So. These two boys have just caused more head spin for me. Thoughts?
Is Twitter in Jeopardy?
Is it bye bye birdy?
Can you really keep up with 3000 people, or more?
I’m a huge Twitter fan…but that fan-dom was threatened when I realized I was increasingly “selling” myself and not having an authentic conversation with people. And that they weren’t having one with me. People I had promoted heavily and believed in, who had responded with a retweet or direct message here or there had never returned my follow.
That means they’ll never see this post. They’ll never get involved in a conversation with me. They can’t…
Companies I’ve called out to on Twitter repeatedly with questions have never responded. Even when they are Twitter apps! They aren’t having a conversation with me…they can’t.
Why? Because of the simple numbers of people we follow on Twitter. Mine is la little more than 1000 (and I review my followers and who I follow about monthly). But try to “listen” even casually to 1,000 people.
Sure you can look for @YOURNAME HERE but this is like being at a dinner party just waiting for someone to holler your name!
Hollah!
I don’t think that’s what all us authentic engaged folks intended to do when we started getting excited about Twitter.
But I’ll be honest. That’s where I go first. Who has mentioned me? Partly vanity, yes, but partly to see if someone is shouting out for me at the party. But what about that great conversation that two of my best friends are having off to the side…I can’t see it. There are two many people at my party.
I can’t genuinely follow 1,000 people. I’ve been trying to shrink the number via “lists” and groups on Hootsuite, but even then it feels too hard and too clique-ish to keep track of.
Facebook’s newsfeed is becoming more attractive (there. I said it).
Then, of course, there is the hard cold reality that Twitter still doesn’t seem to have a plan to monetize and they’ve flatlined in signing up new members.
What will YOU do if Twitter goes bye bye birdie?
PayPal for Dummies
Ok. So I was a PayPal dummy once too. It’s no big deal. We all are.
But let me tell you. Adding the ability to pay for your services (this post is not for selling products) on PayPal could hardly be easier. I just did it this week for the first time. You can do it too! (This is for Wordpress and other users that know how to easily embed code into a blog post or widget).
Because you want money in your bank account and this makes it easy to get it there.
- Make sure you have a PayPal account. This is E-A-S-Y. If you aren’t going to get a PayPal debit card (also easy), then connect your account with whatever bank account you will use to withdraw the funds.
- Once registered and logged in, go to the tab: Merchant Services.
- At this point, I probably don’t even need to walk you through more because the Buy Now buttons are the first thing you will see, but I will.
- Choose your button type (Buy Now is most common but there are others you’ll be interested in: Donations, Gift Certificates, Subscriptions, Automatic Billing and Installment Plan.
- Name your item and give it an ID (if you want). Customers do not see this. It is for your reference only.
- And then customize the button if you need to. You can see that I used a custom button with the drop-down pricing here.
- Add text field. I recommend this. You can put something witty or something that will clarify what is being purchased in this field. Customers WILL see this.
- This lesson is for services so there should not be a shipping or tax amount.
- I use my primary PayPal email address under Merchant Account ID’s.
- I do not use Steps 2 or 3 on the PayPal setup but go directly to Create Button!
- Copy this code and a) if it is going into a blog post like mine did, choose the HTML tab in your Add New Post section of Wordpress or b)if it going to show up on your home page, add a widget to your side bar (Under Appearance to the left in Wordpress) and paste it there.
Seriously. It is THAT easy. But if you need help, as a freebie, send me an email: kelly@kellylivesay.com or find me on Twitter: @kellylivesay and I’ll see if we can’t walk you through it!
The Water Cooler: Do You Owe Your Community?
ACKNOWLEDGMENT: Writing this post has been scary for me. I’m like all of you. I want to be read and respected by people I admire. I feel shaky hitting publish, but I feel in my bones this post had to be written. By writing it, I’m not judging any individuals – just the decision to turn off -or never allow- commenting.
Call me insecure (I’m not) but my feelings are getting a bit hurt. Judging from the comments on Charlie Gilkey’s response post, I’m not alone. My micro-heroes seem to be dissing on communicating via their blog comments and, well, I don’t like it.
I respect them so much. I want to get it. I really do. And I just don’t.
Most big bloggers are using a form of WordPress which has spam filters and most have VA’s who could easily screen out/highlight various comments as inappropriate or send them up the flagpole (gag, corporate speak) as thought-provoking. I fail to see the “creative drain”.
Most big and other bloggers started blogging to build a community of followers who would one day want to buy their products, their events, their services or later, their books. And we have. Yet, when they have that community, they want to stop “talking” to them at the very source they were found?
I know. They’ll continue engaging via social media which is even more of a time-suck and less topic-focused than blog comments. It just doesn’t make sense.
Judging from the input here and on Charlie’s post (via comments, irony intended), I think we can deduce a few things:
- Readers like comments and the ability to locally interact with other readers of a particular blog and, periodically, the author
- Early, small-following bloggers love comments
- Famous (i.e. highly followed) bloggers can find managing blog comments overwhelming OR
- Famous bloggers feel like “mission accomplished”-people know me (i.e. I’m a BRAND) and now I can stop reading their input about my posts
It’s the same reason bigger names don’t return follow on Twitter or build a fan page only versus a personal Facebook page.
This could be cured with good comment management (a good online business manager or VA-and I could not bring myself to link to myself here, Kelly and Dave!) or, with Facebook and Twitter, by return following genuine readers, but using a tool like Hootsuite to manage lists effectively (I can’t manage 1000+ Twitter followers fairly. THAT is not possible).
Lots of people have chimed in that turning off blog comments is a personal decision. Of course it is. That was never the debate. I support anyone in managing their business life as they see fit, and by their gut, just like I do their personal life. The debate, really was about the wisdom of it.
So, do bloggers, writers, entrepreneurs, speakers, coaches, consultants owe the community they worked so hard to build the time and attention required to allow and routinely review comments?
Yes. I think they do. And, it appears, so does most of their community.
Related Post:
Loving and Respecting Your Tribe
More Wise Words from Danielle LaPorte
Postscript:
Charlie Gilkey pointed out a post he wrote in April. It is a wise must-read prequel to this post of mine.
Authenticity, Relevance and Jaw-Dropping Creativity
WE LIVE IN A TIME OF MIRACLES!!! Are you aware of it?
I’m interested in the fact that your average person has no idea what an amazing, miraculous creative era we are living in! Growing human ears on mice? Building walking dog-style robots? Moving things with your brain waves? The question isn’t “what is possible” but what ISN’T possible?
I’m a diehard reader of Wired and Fast Company magazines, but I am hardly an early adopter tech geek. I have an iPhone because it was a gift and just enough tech knowledge to be stunned and awed by the collective mind’s capacity for invention and reinvention. Home is TED.com where reasons to be “rationally optimistic” abound:
MakerBot (a 3-D printer???), Maker Faire, etsy, crowdsourcing, open source…. Almost all done for the love and joy of creating than a profit motive. Dan Pink talks about this at length in his new book Drive which then takes me down the rabbit hole of thinking about all of these amazing “business” books and the ideas within them: The Long Tail, Blink, Freakonomics, A Whole New Mind, The Art of Possibility. They are not only informative but enjoyable (a completely separate form of creativity, eh?).
Never, in history, has the opportunity to be AUTHENTIC and RELEVANT been so accessible to all of us ORGANIC? It moves at the speed of light these days. The challenge, I think, is in learning how to harness and trust it. I absolutely DO NOT have the answer to this, but I’m learning.
(This post was inspired by Chris Anderson’s amazing article in Wired)
My Favorite Wordpress-Plugins
Plug-in sounds dirty. Sorry. It just does.
That said, in Wordpress, plug-ins and widgets are handy little tools for those of us who are not coding experts but are power users instead.
After unnecessarily struggling to reorder my pages and finding the Wordpress built-in tool for this was simply not working, I did a bit of Googling and found My Page Order. Once installed, it shows up under “Pages” and allows you to drag/drop the order you want them to show up in. Now my Find Me is right where it should be. Woopty!
The one plug-in I pay for is Scribe. Gone are the days of trying to use clunky tools for your keyword relevance and density. Scribe analyzes each post and makes keyword suggestions and let’s you know if you are hitting your SEO target. If you have to do a lot of writing for SEO, you need this. After awhile you might be able to let it go, because you do learn the tricks. But for now, my keyword/SEO plug-in of choice is Scribe.
Luv CommentLuv because it allows anyone who comments to self-promote (if they are a blogger, shows their latest post) and self-promotion, done tastefully, is where it’s at.
Afraid folks won’t know how to share your posts? Defeat that fear with Add To Any: Share/Bookmark/Email Button. See mine at the bottom (feel free to use it). Self-explanatory. And if you want your readers to be able to stay in the loop after commenting, add Subscribe to Comments.
Finally, to prevent losing your blog to hackers (I have. I have. Hacked blogs are a nightmare…) you must have WP-DB Manager as a database backup tool. You may need help getting it set back up if it is hacked, but you for sure want that back up available.
And if you don’t want to mess with any of this crap (or other crap) yourself, but you know you need it, you want it, you gotta have it, I’m available and recommended:
Blog Commenting and Your Community
Danielle LaPorte, like Seth Godin and a few other “power bloggers”, has now closed comments on her blog. And, of course, she is free to do so. A blog is your land, your house, your territory. The readers are your (invited) visitors, though some become family.
But I don’t like the idea in general and here’s why:
Comments on blogs are important to the reader.
When I comment on a blog, I consider it a discussion with other readers about the post. It’s the water cooler, gathering spot and a perfect place to have that conversation. I don’t expect/depend on the writer to show up for any/all comments. Readers get to meet new people who gather around a similar topic if not the same writer. It’s also an act of generosity to foster new voices and talent.
Danielle mentions the old-school days of being an author and receiving reader mail if/when the author wanted to. But blogs AREN’T books and, by their very nature, beg to be interactive. If not, it becomes a stagnant website or an online e-book. Colder and impersonal.
Granted, the most comments I’ve ever received was about 50, so I’m far from overwhelmed by commenting and enjoy interacting. But if 1000 people showed up, I would not feel obligated to read, let alone respond to any or all comments. I would, however, enjoy knowing they had a forum to discuss my work.
And I do think that blogging in a vacuum when you are a consultant/coach type figure can be dangerous and insular. I think you need feedback to ensure your message is relevant. I don’t think you are required to incorporate anyone’s opinion in your business practices or writing, but I think it is good to hear what your audience is saying.
Danielle doesn’t really address where her readers will go to discuss her posts. Facebook I assume. And there’s no doubt I’ll continue to check in on Danielle’s blog. She’s a great writer and small business consultant. I’m confident she thought long and hard about making the decision. I just wish she’d consider bailing on other forms of social media instead of closing comments.
My 2 cents, but of course, I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts! 
Be a Weeble
Weebles Wobble But They Don’t Fall Down
As human beings we are fragile/strong little creatures. Our bodies are both remarkably resilient AND remarkably fragile (finger versus kitchen knife confirms this). So are our hearts and our confidence. So much of how we interpret the world around us is based on family conditioning (or lack thereof), the cultural status quo, who we hang with and what we put into our brains. Is it any wonder that in our personal lives and our businesses we wobble over and over again? Trust me.
Ok, maybe YOU don’t, but I SURE DO.
I believe life is half luck. I still receive tons of traffic from one very basic post that mentioned “rock the casbah” and now my Susan Boyle post from months ago found its way to a Susan Boyle forum (and traffic has hit the roof).
So half of that is luck and half is the fact that I wrote the piece in the first place which is sort of what I say in that post anyway. If she hadn’t shown up, there would be no Susan Boyle as we know her. And we now know that she has wobbled a plenty.
The brightest and bravest and most popular among us wobble left and right. Then they DO SOMETHING. I have something to give and then I wobble and I’m either not sure it is of worth or I’m not exactly sure what the course is at all.
But what I do know is, wobble and all, dead cars, bum knees, departed client, fear I lack the appropriate “cool factor” and all, I keep getting upright and trudging forward.
Making it (whatever the hell THAT means!) in the online world these days is a bit akin to making it on American Idol (or my preferred So You Think You Can Dance):
- You gotta have talent
- You gotta have nerve
- You gotta show up and sing/dance, wobbly and all
So, I keep showing up with my small space, art journal, spirituality, small business, pop culture, authentic, relevant, organic networking hodge podge because I LOVE IT. But I wobble and that’s human.
Share your wobbles below (Oh. That sounds dirty). You’ll feel better. I swear.
Killer YouTube Music Playlist
Sure. We all think we have the best musical taste, eh? All I can say is this is a group of songs from a whole host of sources that move me either lyrically or through the music alone. Thanks to Erica Swanson for a few. Keep an eye on her blog for great writing, great music and great design!
Most of these are pretty low key and lovely:
kd lang’s version of Hallelujah
Michelle Featherstone “I’m There Too”
Melody Gardot “Worrisome Heart”
Grace Potter & Nocturnals White Rabbit
Roison Murphy “If We’re in Love” (and anything by her live)
Cinematic Orchestra “To Build a Home” (stunning)
Dinah Washington & Max Richter “This Earth”
St. Vincent “Paris is Burning”
Related:
Lady Gaga, Oprah and My Own “Ah Ha!”
On Parenting, Possibility and Patti Smith
From Colleen Wainwright
How I missed her in the current issue of fear.less is beyond me (must be my tendency towards ADD which is why my eat-at-work healthy breakfast is still sitting in a bag, going bad, in my foyer at home). She is one of my major online idols. LOVE YOU COLLEEN. Check out the whole interview but here’s a snippet that resonated:
If I am honest with myself, connecting with other people, pushing myself and continuing to learn, is what makes me happy – not external success. -Colleen Wainwright
Related:
Loving and Respecting Your Tribe
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