Returning to The Cube

Anyone ever see the film Cube? Frighteningly original, it was a bit Saw meets corporate America and came out when Saw was just a glimmer in its warped director’s mind. CUBE was a scary place to be. And so it has always been for me in the world of work. My Twitter profile says “NOT cube material” and I’m not really. I’ve always hated the restrictions of a corporate 8-5 job, the “forced fun”, meetings and the attire. My attendance has never been stellar. So I left in pursuit of freelance freedom. And I found it. Just not enough of it. It being money, of course.

I stumbled into freelancing when a string of contract recruiting jobs left me with far too much free time during my work day and Elance beckoned with extra money. I got work, and then more work, and then word of mouth, and tons of LinkedIn recommendations and even a video testimonial and then my rates went up and I was soooo happy. Which was great because headhunters stopped calling in early 2009 (who goes after employees? the people who find and hire employees). I wore ratty jeans and worked in dark coffee houses. I dreamt of tattooes and international travel. I got a part-time job in healthcare because it paid for benefits.

But all of it was not adding up to enough. Not nearly enough-to pay bills, to play, to shop, to save. I kept ignoring the trouble. I kept my growth mindset, did my Law of Attraction writing, picturing myself as a lighthouse beckoning my red velvet rope clients (while I also worked the blog and social media world to death). Finally I couldn’t ignore my bank account anymore. So, one miserable day in the hospital, I looked on CareerBuilder and found what I do in a full-time position. Close to home. I applied on a whim, 4 days later came the interview, same day job offer. Not nearly as much as I made contract recruiting but way more than I was making. Jeans 5 days per week and the possibility of working from home after I proved myself. I took it.

And I’m not sorry at all.

My portfolio of skills will now include corporate social media, corporate blogging, and online marketing for a small business of 75 employees. Plus I’m learning more software.

I negotiated to keep my own business. That was a must. I could jump back into the corporate fray but I could not leave the lure of freelancing for good.

I’m probably in this for a year. Maybe longer. The benefits are really bad (but way better than not at all which many of my freelance friends understand), but the security of not haggling over getting paid feels really good. And, surprisingly, it kinda feels nice to put on makeup and decent clothes five days a week. I’m home at 430pm. The sun is shining. And I know I’ll always be a hired gun at heart.

I wrote this piece because I don’t think anyone really talks about what it is like to have to return to the corporate environment after working. We freelance-types are a bit anti-establishment (no working for The Man when, really, in some respects we are ALL working for the man, or woman) and I sensed in myself that I would look like a failure in other freelancers’ eyes. But I didn’t feel like a failure at all. So, if this is you, I’d love to talk to you about your experience here or you can email me.