Fabeku does everything right. Ok, his wife probably doesn’t agree, but in the world of authentic, relevant, organic networking, you bet he does. He is 100% without artifice.

I was lucky to have a sit down chit-chat with him over drinks this spring and found him to be as genuine and engaging in person as he is via Twitter or his blog/vlog posts. We debated social media, consistent blogging, and our parenting while I fell spell to the twinkle in his eye.

Aside from being one of his ‘taters and a neighbor, I’m an ardent admirer of his conviction to live life his own way (generally with a chunk of chocolate, a cup of tea and a kitty at his side) and how he treats his community. Drummer extraordinaire, soother, connector, intuitive, he simply rocks with conviction and joy.

Because of his generosity in giving of himself, I’m going to divide this particular interview into 2 -TWO-(two) JUICY PARTS. I will confess to having cried when I first read his responses.

In part one, The Fabulous Fabeku lets us in on his thoughts on fearlessness and authenticity:

Where’d your fearlessness come from? Especially in business?

I totally wish I could say I was fearless. But I’m not.

I mean, I have moments where I feel fearless. And those are delicious.

But a lot of the time? I’m scared out of my mind.

I’m getting way better at not letting that stop me or influence my choices though. So, for me, it’s more about learning how to deal with the fear versus not having it in the first place.

Another thing that’s been totally helpful is disillusionment.

I’ve bumped into places in my life – personally and professionally – where I was just totally over it. Where pretty much nothing was working and I was so completely not digging it.

When you get to that place it’s easy to make big changes and do big things. Because you almost have to at that point. It’s like your survival instinct kicks in and you have to leap.

But I think that’s a rough way to live.

So I’ve tried to dissect those nothing’s-working-totally-over-it places to figure out how I landed in the suck in the first place.

And it all goes back to fear.

Being afraid to make changes along the way to keep things from getting to that saturated-with-suck point. Being afraid to make little course corrections, which leads to being wildly off course. Being afraid to be who I am because I was scared of being rejected.

I ended up disillusioned when I let fear call the shots.

So I’ve had to switch it up a little. It’s not that I’m not afraid. I just can’t make decisions based on that fear anymore.

What are your thoughts about online authenticity? How naked do you want to be?

I think authenticity is crazy important.

Being authentic is about being you. Feeling free to be as much you as you can be.

And there’s a spectrum there. Everybody has to find what feels right and doable for them.

I don’t think being authentic has to mean being naked. I mean, it can. But it doesn’t have to. You don’t have to drop your drawers to be real.

I’ve been through the whole OMG-I-can’t-be-me thing. It sucks. And it’s hard. It’s a miserable way to live. And it’s miserable way to do business.

It’s also not sustainable. How long can someone keep not being themselves? That takes so much energy. Eventually you just run out of gas.

Being able to be who I am is one of those cornerstone kind of things in my world.

But it can be scary. There’s a lot of talk about being authentic which is rad. But people don’t always talk about how that can be seriously scary.

So, circling back to the fear thing, knowing how to work with the scary can be super helpful.

Making the decision to be me has pretty much been the best thing ever. Not just for my business, but for me personally.

Part 2 in two days. Off to find a hankie. Again.

Call me insecure (I’m not) but my feelings are getting a bit hurt. Judging from the comments on Charlie Gilkey’s response post, I’m not alone. My micro-heroes seem to be dissing on communicating via their blog comments and, well, I don’t like it.

I respect them so much. I want to get it. I really do. And I just don’t.

Most big bloggers are using a form of WordPress which has spam filters and most have VA’s who could easily screen out/highlight various comments as inappropriate or send them up the flagpole (gag, corporate speak) as thought-provoking. I fail to see the “creative drain”.

Most big and other bloggers started blogging to build a community of followers who would one day want to buy their products, their events, their services or later, their books. And we have. Yet, when they have that community, they want to stop “talking” to them at the very source they were found?

I know. They’ll continue engaging via social media which is even more of a time-suck and less topic-focused than blog comments. It just doesn’t make sense.

Judging from the input here and on Charlie’s post (via comments, irony intended), I think we can deduce a few things:

• Readers like comments and the ability to locally interact with other readers of a particular blog and, periodically, the author
• Early, small-following bloggers love comments
• Famous (i.e. highly followed) bloggers can find managing blog comments overwhelming OR
• Famous bloggers feel like “mission accomplished”-people know me (i.e. I’m a BRAND) and now I can stop reading their input about my posts

It’s the same reason bigger names don’t return follow on Twitter or build a fan page only versus a personal Facebook page.

This could be cured with good comment management (a good online business manager or VA-and I could not bring myself to link to myself here, Kelly and Dave!) or, with Facebook and Twitter, by return following genuine readers, but using a tool like Hootsuite to manage lists effectively (I can’t manage 1000+ Twitter followers fairly. THAT is not possible).

Lots of people have chimed in that turning off blog comments is a personal decision. Of course it is. That was never the debate. I support anyone in managing their business life as they see fit, and by their gut, just like I do their personal life. The debate, really was about the wisdom of it.

So, do bloggers, writers, entrepreneurs, speakers, coaches, consultants owe the community they worked so hard to build the time and attention required to allow and routinely review comments?

Yes. I think they do. And, it appears, so does most of their community.

Related Post:

Loving and Respecting Your Tribe

More Wise Words from Danielle LaPorte

Postscript:

Charlie Gilkey pointed out a post he wrote in April. It is a wise must-read prequel to this post of mine.

Best of Blog Reading 2009

[FULL DISCLOSURE: After years of following her and often quoting/linking to her, she recently became a client. THAT is a whole other conversation. But long before that happy occurrence, she was a significant part of the inspiration for my blog's focus: authentic, relevant, organic business practices.]

Not everyone I talk to here will meet all three of those attributes but Jeannette most certainly does  and is the reason I ALWAYS wanted her to be my first interview.

• Authentic: she is up-front and clear about her struggles with relationships…and foster animals
• Relevant: she started Law of Attraction coaching a year or two before Oprah broke The Secret and made LOA common terminology
• Organic: she built her incredibly loyal following by caring, by interacting, through incredible generosity

In addition to coaching, Jeannette has a variety of popular information products (e-books, cds). This year saw the unveiling of Good Vibe University: a full-service membership site that is crammed with content and every day reveals what a brilliant and loving group of individuals have chosen to interact with Jeannette on this mission of hers.

So, let’s talk!

Hey Jeannette! How long have you been The Good Vibe Coach?

Was there a period of time that you were working a day job while you built your online and coaching business?

That was the original plan, but it didn’t work out too well!  The job was so exhausting and time consuming that I didn’t have the energy (and certainly not any positive energy) for building my coaching practice.  So while I did go through two coach training programs while I was still employed in the corporate world, I didn’t take building my business seriously until I actually gave notice.  And that’s when good things started to happen.

How long have you been blogging? How has that impacted your business?

It’s funny, because I used to swear that I would never blog.  Ever.  Mostly because it seemed everyone else already was, and I didn’t want to just follow the herd.

But I did start Law of Attraction Playground on Blogger in spring of 2007, soon migrated to Good Vibe Blog on WordPress, in which time blogging has become one of the favorite parts of my business!  It satisfies several personal core values, including connection, authenticity, passion, freedom and fun.  It’s allowed me to connect with other like-minded folks and to build a community around the topic I’m passionate about.  Not to mention it is becoming, over time, a nice vehicle for highlighting products and services, too.

Was there a particular moment or post where you thought “uh-oh, I may have something here?” (jump in followers, increased rank, etc?)

I have had a few ”Yay, this is working!” moments when there would be a new record number of comments (or in the beginning, even a comment from someone I didn’t know would get me excited!), or when someone would ask for paid advertising space, or when the incoming links started growing.  Mostly, though, it’s been a gradual evolution of success – no obvious or overnight milestones or wins.  I think that’s part of the trick to staying engaged, because the success isn’t always easy to spot.  It kind of sneaks up on you over time – at least, that’s been my experience.

How many hours per day/week do you spend building your online presence?

I’ve got a feeling that actual number might surprise me.  I don’t formally track it, but my best guess is, between the blog, Twitter, and Facebook that it probably averages under an hour a day.  Some days more, some days less.  I don’t have any set rules about how often or when to check in, I just follow inspiration and do what feels good.  I will say, though, it took me a while to get in my good groove with twitter.  (I used to live there after I first discovered it!)  So I’m feeling much more balance with it all.

If another solo practitioner of some sort asked for some of your lessons on using social media as a business tool, what would you say?

Don’t do it if you’re only engaging it to make something happen for your business.  If you don’t genuinely enjoy spending time on social media, it will come across to others and won’t help as much as something else would that you enjoy more.  People are attracted to passion and enthusiasm and authenticity.  If you can’t be that with your social media, don’t waste your time.

If you were starting over, what would you do differently?

I would be less afraid of making mistakes; in fact I would embrace doing something wrong in favor of not doing it at all. I wouldn’t have worried so much about how it’s “supposed” to be done, relied less on the “experts” and more on my gut.  And I would make a point of enjoying the whole journey more.  It really IS the best part – It really is the best part, you know.  The building of it, the part where you’re not sure what – if anything – is coming from it all.

In the online/social media/blogging world, what are your pet peeves?

Someone trying to convince me they know what’s best for me.  Being “sold” to and fear based and scarcity-based marketing.  Turns me off every time.  I probably miss out on a lot of great content because they’re relying on traditional methods to make the sale.

What do you love, love, love about what you do?

That I’m in charge!  That I get to make my own mistakes, I get to try out something different and do it my way, I get to talk about whatever I want, and that I get to do it alongside other brilliant, fun and inspiring creators!

What do you think it means to be authentic?

For me it means not pretending, not saying or doing something just because it’s what’s expected or what I’m supposed to do or what sounds good to others.  It means honoring my intuition, telling it like it is even when it’s not pretty, and not succumbing to external pressure to do it different.  It’s a real-ness that allows for the kind of genuine connection that just can’t be beat. 

Follow Jeannette on Twitter @goodvibecoach.